It only makes sense to start with the equine love of my life... what riders call a "heart horse". I owned Sam for eight years. We were unstoppable-- we won EVERYTHING.
He was an ENORMOUS, jet-black ex-racehorse. He was 17 hands tall... for the non-horsey out there, that means he measured 5'8" at the base of his neck. He was definitely attention-getting!
I bought him as a bit of an afterthought. I was looking for a nice, quiet riding horse for my ex-boyfriend to take out on the trails. The ex-boyfriend, predictably, lost interest fairly quickly, and Sam became my competition horse. We started out showing hunters, but Sam quickly made it clear to me that dressage was his passion. I had never had ANY interest in dressage in the past, but took a couple of lessons from a small-time local dressage trainer, and it quickly became obvious that Sam knew a lot more about it than I did.
So, dressage it was. I studied books, articles, watched movies to learn as much about dressage as I could. But my best resource was Sam. When I asked properly, he rewarded me, and I got totally hooked on dressage-- a discipline I had formerly thought of as "stuffy" and boring. We began to show, and even after the small-time trainer moved away, we won. We moved up the levels from walk-trot through Training, and then ventured into First.
In 2006 I set my sights on our state dressage championships, held in October. In order to qualify I needed to get four scores over 70%. I did-- easily. Sam and I racked up numerous wins and high score awards, and made our plans to drive to Yakima for the championship show in October. And, very unusually, my parents planned to drive out and watch-- and even my grandmother made the trip from Canada to see us.
The way the show worked, you had to compete on Saturday and score above 70% in order to compete in the finals on Sunday. My family was coming on Sunday, so I was really nervous that I wouldn't qualify and they'd have nothing to watch!
I shouldn't have worried. Sam and I won our class Saturday with a qualifying score. And then, Sunday...
We won our state championships. It was a wonderful, wonderful moment for me, especially with my family there.
A big-name trainer saw me at that championship show and approached me about riding with her. I moved Sam to her facility and made the move up to Second level... before getting pregnant with my son. I sold all my other horses and moved Sam back home, and then had to leave him behind when I moved to Canada. He stayed with my ex-boyfriend for a year or so (after all-- Sam WAS supposed to be "his" horse, lol) and then he was semi-retired to a life as a teenage girl's trail horse. It wasn't a decision I was happy with-- I had really hoped to figure out a way to get him here-- but it wasn't fair for my ex to have to continue to care for him, and the home is a good one, so I grudgingly agreed. I miss him.
The winning was great, but that isn't even what I miss. Sam had more personality than any horse I've ever known (and like I mentioned before, I've known many, so that's saying something!) I always felt that he was far more wise than I am. Some days I'd walk into the pasture to catch him and lead him up to the barn, and I'd feel a little silly, like HE was the one who should be the boss.
I've also never connected with a horse as strongly as I did with him. I remember one story... we were standing in my driveway while Sam was getting his hooves trimmed. It was a super hot day and the flies were ridiculous. Sam had just come home from being leased for a few months, and I was wondering to myself if I should find someone else to lease him, or keep him at home. My farrier and I were discussing it, and then at one point I decided to run to the barn and get some fly spray. When I came back, my farrier told me that as soon as I walked away, Sam stared after me and started to shake, and just stood there shaking until he saw me again. I guess he made my decision for me-- he didn't want to go anywhere again. So he didn't.
Late in our relationship I found out that Sam had had a pretty troubled youth... he was so big and so pretty that he got pushed too hard as a young one and his brain got pretty fried. I always knew that I couldn't put too much pressure on him or he'd get claustrophobic (emotionally, that is) and freak out. But my style of riding seemed to suit him... one of the best compliments I ever got came from a woman who'd known him when he was younger... she watched us in a lesson one day and then said to me "he really likes the way you ride him".
Someday I hope to have another horse I connect with so strongly. He leaves some big shoes to fill, but once you've had that connection, you always want to keep looking for it again. That probably sounds pretty cheesy if you aren't into horses... but if you're a rider, and you've had your "heart horse", you know exactly what I'm talking about.
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