Quandary

Isn't that a great word?

I always say I don't make plans, I set goals. Plans can change, sometimes because of reasons out of your control, but your goal can still stay the same. But I am learning that, with horses at least, sometimes you have to be fluid in your goals as well. For example, I had to change my focus from dressage (which has pretty much been my life for the last 10-ish years) to the expensive, competitive world of hunters because it's what Gia wants. But now, rather than having the goal of competing in hunters, I have the goal of getting my horse out in public without her having a complete mental breakdown.

Next week she is going to a friend for a bit of a butt-kicking. She is going to be taken out on trails, ridden in their busy arena, and other scary stuff like that. She's not going to be allowed to be the princess she is at home. I hope to heaven that it makes a difference, because if it doesn't, I honestly don't know what to do. Hence, my quandary.

It's been mentioned by a couple of people (and mulled over by myself) that I sell her. She'd do very well in a big Arab barn with a regular trainer, and she'd clean up at sporthorse in hand and sporthorse under saddle classes. I'd be happy to see her in a home like that, too. If I can't get her there, I'd like to see someone who can... I just don't want to show on the Arab circuit, myself.

I really don't want to sell her, though. This is the first horse I've had in a long time that I really want to work with, really want to succeed. I feel like we've come SO FAR, it's really been amazing. But we've hit a wall.

Other options include leasing her out, breeding her, or trying to tough our way through it.

Then there's me. I need to take a good hard look at what *I* want to do, what *I* want to accomplish. I don't HAVE to show hunters. I'd be just as happy showing dressage, or even eventing. But that would mean moving on to another horse.

As an adult amateur, working full-time and caring for my kids (plus husband, family, social life, et al), in a way it makes a lot more sense to have a horse who is more broke, who I can just get on and have fun with. A horse I can take to shows without worrying that it's going to flip out (or flip over). A horse who can teach ME something and advance MY ability.

But... it's Gia. Someday she's going to be a superstar. Maybe. Or, someday she's going to be a pasture ornament, or someone's pretty pet. Depends on if we can get through to her or not. I'm not willing to give up on her YET... but... I don't know what's around the corner.